treehouse of gourdor iii

josh rounded the office corner to see what appeared to be matt finishing screwing on his head. a strange hiss emanated from matt's mouth before he returned to typing on the laptop. blinking slowly, josh paused and considered what he thought he had seen. that couldn't be right, he thought, he had stayed up too late last night and was just seeing things. 

josh entered the office quietly and matt took no notice. josh thought matt seemed off today, his movements seemed animatronic and he could swear he saw a seam in matt's neck. 

was his friend a robot? shot across his mind before jeremy walked in. 

carrying a tupperware container filled with what seemed to be red sauce and noodles, jeremy sat down at the desk and chirped at his computer. josh took a second look at jeremy and saw that his noodles seemed more like gears and sprockets. he too seemed off -- rigid and little too cold for jeremy's generally warm demeanor. 

"how you guys doing today?" josh asked finally, his voice forcibly jovial. 

both of their heads turned in unison, as if they were some kind of robotic hive-mind. they opened their mouths and screamed and pointed at josh. they stood up in robot fashion and began to walk at josh, tearing and swiping with their hands. 

josh stood in-place and screamed like a child before turning around and starting to run -- his arms flopping like a baby dinosaurs as he pranced towards the warehouse. matt and jeremy followed with locked legs, periodically screaming. 

as josh ran through the warehouse he saw trevor coming through the taproom door. "TREVOR! THEY'RE ROBOTS!" josh wheezed at him, already out of breath. josh saw a cup of his coffee, turned cold, sitting on a table and chugged it, instantly refreshing himself. Trevor did not look shocked at the news and instead started groping at josh, screaming in a frenzy. 

wide-eyed josh realized it was too late for him. that his time at come and he was going to be murdered by friendbots.

jeremy plunged a crowler through josh's chest. marinara sauce and sprockets burst out and josh had a sudden eye-opening realization. he was the robot, the borg, the blade runner. 

he is the one who dreams of electric sheep.

treehouse of gourdor iii | ale brewed w/ pumpkin & spices | 7.4% abv