Hunkboy!

listen hear stranger --

the year was 2072 and everything gleamed in the alabaster city of St. Minnepolis...

with biceps flexed, the hunkboy josh stared at himself in the mirror, lips pouting into a kissy face. Birds tweeted their feckless indifference as the hunkboy josh streched his glutes, pulsed his chappers, and strung out into the cosmic diety pose. everything was pristine in the kingdom of this dapper debonaire and as long as he kept flexing the birds kept tweeting, the grass kept growing, and the sun kept showing. 

twerking his gluteous, the hunkboy josh settled his quadroceps before moving into an end pose. dressed in the spandex of his people, the wwewwfs, he made his way to the throne room by the ritual path he takes every day. The hunkboy passed the room of temptation -- it being filled with soft cheese, hot cheeses, melted cheeses, and salsa -- he passed the room of deep thought -- it being filled with porcelain -- and finally inched past the no-no room which was filled with the invitation of "sloth's abyss" -- in it sat a stained couch and a gaming machine. 

he always makes it past the rooms of tempation and the he eats his daily onion on his throne of pearls waiting for the daily subjects to filter in. Instead of grievances or gripes, his people showed up to wish him well and they were always genuine and heartfelt. they brought trinkets, noodles, vegetables, and plenty of wonderful soy products. the hunkboy josh cherished them and showed them his flexed muscles to their amazement and glee. the local children had started a fan group which went around helping everyone to flex as best they could. with the hunkboy's never fail easy "path of the muscle" the whole city-state was starting to bulk up. the benevolent king was proud of his work and his people and an new, never-seen-before muscle had grown on his chest that flexed like a proud beating heart. 

everything gleamed in the alabaster city of St. Minnepolis in the year 1272. The nation was a smoking crater around the city-state and there was word that other cities had sprung up in the Americas, but the hunkboy paid little attention. his muscles could only do so much for the good of humanity. 

his assassination in the year 1274 by the rogue Xenomorpin' Power Stranger came as a crippling blow to the people of St. Minnepolis. to this day they still vie for revenge. they are the people of the beating heart of hunkboy.

you will hear more of them in future tales, stranger, and I thank you kindly for listening of the great hunkboy josh, may his name be forever cherished. 

hunkboy | robust porter | 6% abv

 

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