On tap -- 
everything that is currently on tap!

blue hulk
remember that carpenters song about aliens they did for national contact day?yup. listening to it now, and it's probably why we were never visited. jk. but it's not terrible for the carpenters, its soft, but soft sci fi. it's for the whole fam! 

lager flavored with blueberries. 5% abv

musclemancer
shall we play a game? ok. i'm gonna be a real proper boy who owns a very nice bottle shop. i have wines and fancy trinkets, and drinks from the furthest corners of the grobe. you are not just a customer, but you enter my shop and start to browse. i approach you to see if i may be of assistance, you then immediately turn to me in cinematic fashion, with finger raised, and say, "no, it tis i who can help you." then i don't know what to say because my brain cannot compute this interaction. i smile awkwardly and go to the back. i watch you on the cc tv screen, eating cold spaghetti, waiting for you to leave. that's the most scared i have ever been.

hazy india pale ale with centennial, citra, and wakatu hops. 5.8% abv

lizardize mariguanas
george washington once claimed that lizards where the true heir to mankind. that's how the lizard people got started in government and that, my fellow humans, is what is going to be our mammalian downfall. 

india pale ale w/ amarillo, citra, wakatu, & warrior hops. 6.66% abv

hans macgruber
i had a dream last night about a secret shopping mall located and interconnected throughout the buildings and businesses of downtown stillwater. there was a store for fancy boy clothes and also a dancing robot filled with candy, controlled by the candy shoppe owner. he waved goodbye to me when they closed shop. also, there was a father and son comedy troupe performing on a stage. they all had bowl cuts and their routine consisted of slow motion fighting. best dream i have ever had. this beer is pretty good too.

smoked vienna-style lager. 5.5% abv

CMDR. RYEKER
IS HE A BUGLE BOY? I DON'T KNOW BUT I WOULDN'T PUT IT PAST HIM. HE LIKES THAT KIND OF STUFF, FOR THE SAKE OF FUN. HE IS A TOOTER, AND A TRUSTY #2. DO NOT ONLY TAKE MY WORD FOR IT. ASK KRIS. ASK HIM. DO IT. GRILL HIM ON FLAVORS PAST AND PRESENT, AND WHY OH WHY HE LIKES THIS SO MUCH. DON'T TELL HIM, BUT WE MAKE THIS JUST FOR KRIS. WE LIKE HIM. ALSO HE IS A GIANT SO HE COULD DO SOME DAMAGE IF ANGERED AND SENT ON A RAMPAGE. IT'S A FRIENDSHIP BUILT ON FEAR.

INDIA RED ALE. 6.2% abv

mr.x!
you're the little boy. josh keeps saying it is me but he is dumb and he is worng. what's new? am i right??? hahahaha. this beer is supposed to bring you to the muddy banks of the worshecter. bring yer finest smiles folks.

english-style pale ale. 5.1% abv

invierno de kittay
it is the winter, therefore you do not have to put your meat in the cold box. leave it out all day, let your pups lick it (that removes surface ruskits in fact!) and let your cats paw at it and make biscuits on. enjoy it or not. we do not ask much. we are not your mommy. but we will be your daddy.

cream ale w/ lactose, vanilla, and holiday spices. 5% abv

HONEES HONEES

I HAD A DREAM I VISITED AN OLD RESTAURANT I PREVIOUSLY WORKED AT. WE WAITED A LONG TIME FOR SERVICE, THERE WAS NOTHING ON TAP I WANTED, and finally we got our food. it was sushi and it was very wet. too wet. it was sad. i am sad. 

GOLDEN ALE WITH PEANUT BUTTER FLAVOR, HONEY, AND LACTOSE. 5.6% abv

PARTY ON GARTH

THIS IS QUITE LIT. ALMOST AS LIT AS MY FIRST TIME MEDITATING. THERE WAS NO TRANSCENDENCE, BUT I DID MEET A GUIDE WITH A BOWL CUT AND FANCY SUIT. ALSO THERE WERE A BUNCH OF CHARACTERS GETTING READY FOR A JOURNEY OR A REAL LONG HIKE. MY GUIDE WANTED TO FEED SOMETHING IN A TENT I HAD IN MY YARD...BUT THEN I CAME BACK TO THE REAL WORLD VIA A GOOSE HONKING. DARN GOOSE. IF YOU'RE WONDERING, IT'S THE SAME GOOSE THAT CHASED ME ONCE. 

black ale. 6% abv

HUNKBOY
BORN OF MUSCLE AND MIGHT, HE IS READY TO FIGHT AGAINST THE (K)NIGHT. HIS THOUGHT IS PURE AND WITH HIS FISTS CLENCHED TIGHT, AT THE END OF THE DAY HE WILL DO RIGHT.

ROBUST PORTER. 6% abv

gobias
my gloves smell like burrito, and my mouth tastes like cheese. i am a dream within a dream, and i'm alright. fetch me my yogurt spoon, there's only one way to get ourselves out of this mess. start diggin'. we are tubes afterall.

black ale with lots-o-coffee. 8% abv

PRIZZA DEMON - nitro
oh my GORBAN, MICHAEL, MICHAEL GORBAN. MI-CHAEL GORBAN, MICHAEL MICHAEL GORBAN. THIS IS A SONG, ONE THAT I JUST WROTE, CALLED "MICHAEL GORBAN, MICHAEL MICHAEL GORBAN" ENJOY, AND YOU ARE WELCOME. PLEASE, TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF WHEN YOU COME INTO OUR ESTABLISHMENT, AND PLEASE, THANK YOU. SORRY. THANKS, BUT SORRY, THANK YOU.

ENGLISH-STYLE PUB-STYLE MILD ALE. 4.4% abv

to go --
everything that is available to go! (though not listed, everything on tap is available to go, too!

Crowlers/howlers/&hoglets

mr. x!
when you are in doubt, make sure you tell your secrets to the internet. they will both keep secrets and tell secrets back to you in a secret fashion. 

extra special bitter. 5.1% abv

mothra vs. mothra
could this be a zwickel lager? could this be a clear and true lager? the inner battle rages in mothra.

india pale lager w/ citra hops. 4.8% abv

4pk 16oz Cans

zozo gun
color mutants rent a hole through space; swirling gray follows. along, refraction suit lit, the traveler eyes as the monstrosities approach. safety clicks off. 

india pale ale w/ cascade & zythos hops. 7.5% abv

honees honees
helooo-oooo, think mr. fly! there isn't anything in here that you want. josh's fly honey is all gone, yet he is still a fly honey. see what i mean. go buzz off, don't you have a house and road to sweep, sweep, sweep? bye. 

golden ale w/ peanut butter, honey, and lactose. 5.6% abv